This is my favorite stretch mark. It’s the biggest one and it’s also the lightest one. They still bother me a lot but sometimes u get those days like today that I just feel like they’re something special.
They feel like hammocks made of ribbon from your skin. Soft little dips that mark your struggle. Hell, I went through a lot getting these things. It’s amazing though. How the epidermal layers can stretch out so much. I just wish I knew more about how it scientifically becomes a stretch mark. That’d be cool.
I want to feel good.Thursday Apr 10 01:21am
All I ever wanted was for him to make me feel beautiful.Thursday Apr 10 01:21am
I hate how horrible I feel. I hate how ugly I feel. I hate how used I feel. I hate how stupid I feel. I hate how much in willing to give up just because he’s being an inconsiderate jerk and I barely realize it three years later. I hate how I still live him even though half the time I’m not happy anymore. I hate how I can’t just do something since I have to think about my daughter first.
Should I deal with it for her sake? This deadbeat boyfriend can be a deadbeat daddy but sometimes he can be the perfect dad. I’m so confused.
Just because you work and buy us things does not give you the privilege of not freaking with your responsibility of being this little girl’s father. That I know enough.
Why won’t he contribute? Why does he have to be so damn lazy? Why do I love him enough to consider still being with him? Why can’t I stand up to him and his smart mouth? I don’t know. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. He can be amazing one second but a complete idiot the next. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this.
Sometimes I feel like I never should have said yes.
I am fucking done. He does not know how to take care of her for shit. If she gets rowdy he doesn’t do shit. Let her cry it out.
I hate being at his house. They don’t let me do anything. And when they do actually want me to watch my own daughter I’m tired as fuck and I actually need their help. What the fuck.
Too complicated. I need to get a fucking job so I can get the fuck out of here. He is unreliable. I don’t feel safe with him anymore. Its taking us this long just to move out. We could have been gone since December. I’m done.
If he doesn’t get his shit together by her birthday I am done. I am not going to deal with this for another year. This is bullshit.
It just gets so frustrating to the point where I want to start doing pot again. But I really don’t want to go back to that unless I really need it.Wednesday Apr 2 03:57am